The nightmare protocol: A simple way to manage nightmares

During the course of my work, I regularly hear from people that experience nightmares. The ones that leave you feeling shaken and with vivid memories of the event. Ones that feel eerily real. When we are talking about a nightmare, I talk to the principles that sit behind them;

  1. Nightmares are a deep form of cognitive processing that happen during in the middle of the night or early morning, when REM sleep and dreaming are more common.
  2. They can indicate healing of a particular issue in your life
  3. Dream content should be interpreted symbolically, not literally i.e. try not to be afraid.

Recently I completed some PD on nightmares for people who have experienced trauma, and it was during this education that I first learnt of a process to manage nightmares. Prior to this, I just assumed nightmares were things that had to be tolerated with no recourse. It turns out this isn't true.

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You want to make a new friend- your new 'friend' doesn't. Hashtag Ouch.

Social interactions are always underpinned by multi-layers of social and internal cues, previous history, current feelings and stage of life. This can lead to great outcomes, poor outcomes or just plain neutral ones. All of us are social creatures. All of us want to belong and all of us want to choose where we fit. But what happens when we make a choice, only to find that we aren't chosen back? Yes, this happened for most of us at high school. But. It happens all through our adult lives too. We just develop a higher tolerance and recognition for what is happening.

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Connecting with kids: A surefire way to get them talking

One of the most topical discussions I have with the leaders I work with is about connection. We talk mainly about leadership during these types of work shop, but invariably someone brings up their kids. Because, as all parents know, they are never far from your mind. They will share about their kids and how it can be harder to remain connected to them as they grow older, as we talk about their direct reports and how it can be an investment to build trust. Inevitably, all the other parents in the room prick up their ears, for they have been thinking about this very topic as well. So, I'm not here today to talk to you about ways you can build trust with your direct reports, but this topic will surely help your relationship with them as well.

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How a person can be unfaithful whilst remaining in a relationship

If you have ever been cheated on by someone you love, or are in love with, you will know the life changing heartbreak that comes from that experience. When the pain subsides, you will ask so many questions of yourself, your partner and your friends. Amongst them will be why? how? And with each question, comes a fresh wave of grief and overwhelming sadness. This is particularly so when your partner has maintained a dual relationship without you knowing.

In the name of research for this article, I found a plethora of cheating related discussions, hypotheses and lists. So many lists of why. Instead of addressing the breakdowns that exist in a relationship if one person is cheating, today I am exploring how a person can be unfaithful whilst remaining in a relationship.

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Estrangement: When you cease a relationship with a parent.

I want to talk to you about a topic that is largely not discussed. The breakdown of the relationship between parent and child. We know that this relationship is arguably one of the most important ones we can have. We know that the relationship dyad is inevitably skewed with the power differential being by the parent. Typically we know this doesn’t change until parents age and become reliant, if it at all.

When a relationship breaks down there are many stages and opportunities to work on a repair. By the time estrangement is the only option on the table, the opportunities for repair have not been satisfactorily resolved. If anything, the inability for the repair to occur has fueled the breakdown. Today’s post is not going to detail those opportunities for repair. I am going to the heart of the breakdown. Estrangement. It’s a hard topic and one that mainstream media don’t deal with in any great depth. I think mainly because the average family doesn’t have a need to go through these processes. Also, because estranging from a parent/family is incredibly, incredibly hard. It’s not a decision you make lightly, you make it because you feel as though it is the only way.

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